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If there is one thing Natalie Portman knows, it’s stuffing.
South Park

Great version of House of the Rising Sun, done on old tech.

Me, shouting to wake up my dog, while jumping on his bed: WALLY! WALLY! WALLY! WALLY!
Wally: *pokes me in the eye with his nose, and curls back up*
Me: hahahahahahahahaha

Awesome.

Awesome.

  • Wife:

    I want a shark. Or maybe some glass fish.

  • Me:

    The cichlids will eat the glass fish. They are territorial.

  • Wife:

    No. I don't think so.

  • Wife, a few minutes later:

    OH! Glass fish are REAL? I meant fake fish made out of glass.

  • Me:

    °sigh°

Last night, my wife asked me to clean the fish tank. We had three cichlids, Casper, Taxi, and… I don’t remember the last one’s name. We inherited the fish from the last tenants in our apartment. We cleaned the tank for the first time in four months. The water was like pea soup, green with months of algae. I took out the rocks, and drained the tank four times to clear the water. In that order. This morning, Caitlin couldn’t find Taxi. He was in one of the rocks. In the sink. Very clean, and very dead. Now I have to replace him. I hear that sharks and cichlids get along…

Thanks for the laugh, Samsung. Even if I am laughing, a bit, at myself.

It isn’t very often that I feel like I need to pull over to take a picture. This morning, I did.

It isn’t very often that I feel like I need to pull over to take a picture. This morning, I did.

This is today’s woot. My wife, upon seeing it, remarked “Great! Now my uterus can get wifi!”

This is today’s woot. My wife, upon seeing it, remarked “Great! Now my uterus can get wifi!”

Cut the Monte Cristo in 1/2, transfer it to a place, and garnish with the strawberry and orange.
A recipe. What place, exactly, should I transfer it to?