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Thank you, Cracked, for making me laugh so hard my jaw hurts.

Thank you, Cracked, for making me laugh so hard my jaw hurts.

I don’t often tell people what to do when it comes to politics, but I’ve got one for you today. The senate’s military appropriations bill this year includes provisions requiring the military to detain American citizens suspected of assisting Al Qaeda. Thats fine. But it also allows them to hold American citizens indefinitely without trial. That is a travesty, and a direct violation of our fourth amendment rights. Call your senators, and let them know you think this is bullshit. I did.

“ Little known fact: Abraham Lincoln was a magician. You can tell by his hat. ”

My wife

“ Titmouse. It’s a bird. Not a mouse. ”

Caitlin, while gesticulating.

“ You are like a water buffalo. Fuzzy chin, no neck to speak of, furry chest. Large. Endangered. ”

My wife, discussing what animal I am.

garfieldminusgarfield: Get G-G the book.

garfieldminusgarfield:

Get G-G the book.

garfieldminusgarfield: Get G-G the book.

garfieldminusgarfield:

Get G-G the book.

“ If there is one thing Natalie Portman knows, it’s stuffing. ”

South Park

Great version of House of the Rising Sun, done on old tech.

Me, shouting to wake up my dog, while jumping on his bed: WALLY! WALLY! WALLY! WALLY!
Wally: *pokes me in the eye with his nose, and curls back up*
Me: hahahahahahahahaha

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